One response to “Shelving Expectations”

  1. Charles miller

    This is a very good article. In 1985 I got married. We never received any counseling. We went into a marriage without knowing what the expectations were and after years of fighting and mistrust we divorced.

    A year after our divorce I met a lady and dated but did not marry. Instead, I moved back from Tennessee to Seattle. This lady did remarry, just not me. It lasted a short time. And nine years after we had first met and after her divorce we got reacquainted and married. What we feel was God’s initial plan that we had messed up came full circle.

    What we had both learned over the years are principals Marty and Rich talk about here. Principals we learned the hard way that you don’t have to go through the jungle so to speak to learn. I am more apt now at 52 to seek out, to listen and to learn.

    My wife is very important to me. When we first married 4 years ago we made a pack with each other to have what we call level five communication. But we had to agree on it. Why? Because anyone can get married but to grow close both people have to be willing to talk, examine and even get hurt. I have only grown because of this willingness.

    Having tools for building a house are vital and having tools for building a marriage are just as vital. I appreciate what Marty and Rich have done and are continuing to build and develop.


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