Answer (Gary Chapman): I think when a couple gets engaged, from time to time, there are couples that get cold feet. That is they come to the place where they are not quite sure whether they should really go ahead and get married. For some people, if they’ve had a hard time making decisions all their life time—that is they’re insecure in making decisions—they’re going to feel insecurity when it comes to the point of marriage because this is a huge decision. So there are some people for whom those feelings are going to be natural. But there are other people for whom those feelings are a red flag waiving to say, “you better go back and explore the foundation again.”
That’s one reason I wrote Things I Wish I’d Known before We Got Married. I’m trying to help you go back and explore the foundation to make sure you’ve got a good foundation on which to get married. I would remind you that it’s much easier to break an engagement than it is to go through a divorce. So, if the red flag is waiving, and you normally are not a person that is insecure in decision-making, there are some reasons for why you are having cold feet. Examine the foundation and make sure you have one on which to build a good marriage. If you realize you do not have a good foundation, then my encouragement would be to break the engagement.
