Your life thus far is a history. It’s a beautiful story being written right now. Chances are, you have learned something about love. The lessons could have turned you bitter or given you wings.
Have you ever sat down to recall memories from your past? What did you learn from them? Can you think of a love experience that marks your history? A love experience…a time when you were filled, secure, confident. Sometimes love experiences take us by surprise, though, because they follow a painful experience.
Reflecting on these past experiences can help us love and be loved in our present and future.
At one of the lowest points in my life, my parents told me a hard truth. They’d never before paid this kind of concerned attention to me. While my initial reaction was to be defensive, their intensity and hurt looks made me stay. They said I could not continue down the path I was on, or my health could be permanently damaged. They were afraid for me and sounded seemingly helpless.
But mom and dad hadn’t given up yet…they told me that I needed to start nourishing my body again and that I needed help to form healthier habits. Their love drove me to get better, and ultimately, right into God’s hands. Over the next month, I became overwhelmed by the sort of love that no human relationship can offer. That was nearly five years ago.
I learned that true love on earth points us toward God. And sometimes true love comes in the form of hard truth.
As you can imagine, that lesson continues to be helpful in my relationships today.
In the last lines of his short story, “Family Happiness,” Leo Tolstoy’s main character, Masha, says
I felt that I did not fear him, that this fear was love—a new love still more tender and stronger than the old. I felt that I was wholly his, and that I was happy in his power over me.”
Engaged to be married to a man, Sergey, who had known her since childhood, cared for her after her father’s death and loves her deeply, Masha’s love experience is not unlike something many of us desire...tender…stronger…wholly his.
Real love is both whole and holy.
Think way back into your history. Was there a time when you were loved in a new way and stronger than ever before? Our histories are not separate from our present and future. Our past love experiences inform our love experiences now and later in life. In what ways could your experiences with love be influencing your relationships today?
