Hey. You have a minute? I’ve got a question for you.
What would a marriage be without fear?”
As I began to ponder what this could mean for marriage, I jotted down a few answers.
A marriage without fear would be:
- Intimate. A marriage without fear would have no walls to keep the spouse away from secret sacred places. No topic would be off limits. No body part would go unexplored. Every idea would be considered a valuable.
- Safe. A marriage without fear would be a safe experience from the perspective of each spouse. Regardless of personality conflicts, flaws in character, each spouse would feel safe to be themselves.
- Brave. A marriage without fear would be a launching pad for big accomplishments. Without fear, both spouses would leap toward their passions feeling invigorated. The home would serve as a trampoline for careers and hobbies and imaginations. Each spouse could leap knowing the home was a safe place to land.
- Fun. A marriage without fear would be filled with giggles and belly laughs. Every incident whether serious or slight is an opportunity for joy. Without anxieties and insecurities with walls that protect them, the relationship is judgment free. Laughter is always a “with you” event.
- Home. Without fear, each spouse would look forward to being with the other. The uninterrupted intimacy has created a green pasture beside still waters experience for the soul.
Did I leave anything out?
Did your mind serve you another, “Wow, my marriage could look like this!” picture?
So, how do you get there?
Fear does not belong in marriage. Marriage is God’s idea. It’s a beautiful relationship that is designed to reflect the unconditional and enduring love God has for His own. So why are so many marriages ending in divorce? Why has fear settled into relationships as if it were invited?
God is the giver of all good gifts (James 1:17). He is the supplier of all our needs (Philippians 4:19). He did not walk into your wedding reception with a beautifully wrapped gift of fear hoping you would enjoy it for the rest of your lives. He did bring gifts though!
There are three important gifts waiting for you. Pick them up ASAP. The address is 2 Timothy 1:7. You will know you are in the right place when you see the sign “God has not given us a spirit of fear!” Now, walk on in. Three beautifully wrapped gifts are waiting for you at the counter. Go ahead, unwrap them now!
- The first one …. POWER!
- The second …. LOVE.
- The third …. a sound and disciplined MIND.
You are probably thinking, No way. These are ours. Are you serious?! And at the same time, you might be wondering, How do I use them?
Before you take them home, you need a few details. Power, love, and a sound mind are designed by God and supplied to you by Him. They are actually parts of His DNA. He is giving You part of Himself – actually sharing Himself with you. He is Emmanuel, God with us. God with you! Somehow in His God way, He is always there to help you use His power, His love, and His soundness of mind.
There is a little bit of exercise involved in employing these gifts in your marriage. In fact you need ongoing training, which includes reading, lab work, and face time with the Creator. I hear your long exhale. You are wondering if this is really necessary, aren’t you? Is that fear I hear in your question?
Read back over the marriage without fear description. Intimate. Safe. Brave. Fun. Home. Yeah – the stuff your marriage dreams are made of right!? Now, that course and your long sigh. Take a deep breath, say “I will” and let’s just do this thing one hour at a time. You can “unsubscribe” from the course anytime. But I would hate for you to miss out on the power, love, sound mind and fearless marriage of your dreams.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV