Have You Kissed a Lot of Frogs but Still No Prince?


I don’t know how many frogs the fairy-tale princess kissed before she found her prince, but I have to admit that I kissed a lot of frogs before finding my prince.

We want to believe in the fairy-tale.
Most of us want to believe that our “prince” is out there somewhere among all the frogs that we encounter. We want to believe that “soul-mates” do exist because we don’t want to choose the wrong mate and end up as part of the 50% of married couples who eventually divorce.

In the most popular version of the fairy-tale  there is only one frog that can be transformed into a prince. Although, it is the kiss from the princess that breaks the spell, her kisses do not have the power to turn just any frog into a prince. There is only one prince.

Life is not a fairy-tale, so how do you know when you’ve found “the one” ?
In real life, it doesn’t matter how many frogs you kiss or guys you date, they are not going to suddenly transform into the prince you’ve dreamed about. If the fairy-tale were true, then it would be easy to know when you have found, “the one”.

Perhaps a better question is, “how do you know when you’ve found the “right one” or the “right kind of person” to be your prince? Some believe that God created one special person, who is destined to be their spouse and if they wait on God, He will bring the two of them together. Others feel that God does not choose our mate and that there may be many people out there who could be the “right one” for us. God may bring many people into our lives but it’s up to us to choose the right mate based on God’s standards.

Are you waiting on “the one” or choosing the “right one”?
It is possible that God creates only one person for each of us and that His plan involves bringing us together to be joined in marriage. However, what happens if that spouse dies and you choose to remarry? Does this mean that the second marriage was outside God’s will? Does it mean that this person was God’s second choice for you? There are many arguments against the belief that God created someone destined to be “the one” for us.

I don’t feel that it’s really important whether you believe in the idea of there being only “the one” created just for you, or if you believe that out of many, you are to choose, the “right one”. It doesn’t matter whether you are waiting on that one special person to come into your life or if you are just trying to make the right choice. Of course, it would be great to be able to find this prince with as little frog kissing as possible. So, how do you know when he’s “the one” or the “right kind of mate”? The answer is found where all answers are found, in God’s Word.

What does God say about choosing a mate?
Even if there is only one person in the entire world who is perfect for you, you still need to know how to recognize that person. God’s Word gives the standard for choosing our friends and our spouses. First of all, your prince will be a believer.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  2 Cor. 6:14

A godly prince will demonstrate the fruits of the spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

Your prince should be of good character. The book of Proverbs has much to say about character. Choose a mate who has these qualities listed in Proverbs.

  • Honesty (29:24)
  • Hard-working (14:23; 12:11)
  • Self-control (16:32)
  • Speaks gently (12:18; 15:1-2 & 4)
  • Generosity (14:21; 28:27)
  • Integrity (4:24-27; 19:1)
  • Forgiving (19:11)
  • Faithful/Reliable (17:17; 29:3)
  • Humble (15:25 & 33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23)
  • Controls their temper (14:29; 17:27; 29:11)
  • Fears God and is obedient (13:13; 14:16; 14:26; 16:20)

God does allow us to choose our mate but He will bring the right one into our lives at the right time. He has provided the standard for choosing godly friends and godly mates in His Word, so if you find yourself kissing a lot of frogs and still no prince, perhaps you aren’t choosing based on God’s standards of character.


Darlene

FEATURED CONTRIBUTOR:

Darlene Glasgow is the wife of a pastor, she is the mother of three adult children and “Meme” to four grandchildren. She served alongside her husband for eight years as a missionary in Central America. Darlene has a BS degree in Psychology/Sociology and an MA in Human Services from Liberty University. She enjoys writing on topics that relate to her field of study, such as relationships, personality traits, and issues like depression. Darlene is fascinated by psychology because she likes to know what makes people do the things they do. However, as a Christian writer, she views these topics from a spiritual and Biblical perspective. You can read more about Darlene on her blog, Notes from Meme.


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  • Yusuf A. Bako

    Its a wonderful write up. Keep it up

  • Thank you very much and God Bless.

  • Great article Darlene.
    I observe a lot of Christians getting stuck in the perpetual search for the “perfect” spouse. Your advice to look for godly character is sound. I wish every young man and woman would use the filter you’ve provided from Scripture to inform their search.

  • Thank you for your comments Joe. Actually, I wish I had listened to this advice when I was younger. I offer this advice now through the wisdom of hindsight.

  • Uc

    Thank you soo much.such an inspirational article.God bless u

  • You are very welcome Uc and thank you for your nice comment.

  • Robert MacGregor

    This article nosedived halfway through. I found it to be extremely offensive. The traits of good character listed from Proverbs are mostly good.

    But 2 Corinthians 6:14? That is incredibly vulgar — a completely uncalled for assault on the character of everyone who doesn’t share your religious beliefs. I struggle to find friends as honest, motivated, and kind as I am; and guess what? I’m an atheist. I gladly give of my time and love because it feels good to do so genuinely.

    Anecdotally, in my experience, the more fervently religious women I’ve dated have cheated on me. “You’re too good for me.” Uh-huh.

    How about choosing a partner based on his or her personality, kindness, and compassion? Believe it or not, it’s actually quite easy to love someone based on the content of their character and not the content of their religious beliefs (or lack thereof). It’s quite fulfilling to love someone enough to support them in their beliefs even when you don’t share them.

    I suppose that would require humility, and not the false humility practiced by people who superficially and judgmentally equate unbelief in their personal God with wickedness and darkness.

    • nat soares

      Hi Robert
      What 2 Corinthians is referring to is not necessarily a reflection on the outward character of an ungodly person: there are many people out there who are in fact very well brought up people with remarkable personal values who don’t necessarily follow God. This fact however does not exempt their souls from eternal separation from God once out of this world. This is what Paul talks about.
      The union of marriage is not just a physical but also a spiritual one – I can speak from my own experience, I was engaged to a seemingly wonderful man who did not understand my need for a relationship with God. The fact he did not share my belief left me in a lonely place – it was not the partnership marriage should be. Needless to say, we have now gone our separate ways.

      Having said this, loving someone, like I love my ex fiance for all that he is, is not enough to surmount such a big difference as religious belief. Paul knew this would only bring grief and advises against it – I totally agree.

  • Kitutu Isaac

    I think you just need more of God’s blessing

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