I don’t know how many frogs the fairy-tale princess kissed before she found her prince, but I have to admit that I kissed a lot of frogs before finding my prince.
We want to believe in the fairy-tale.
Most of us want to believe that our “prince” is out there somewhere among all the frogs that we encounter. We want to believe that “soul-mates” do exist because we don’t want to choose the wrong mate and end up as part of the 50% of married couples who eventually divorce.
In the most popular version of the fairy-tale there is only one frog that can be transformed into a prince. Although, it is the kiss from the princess that breaks the spell, her kisses do not have the power to turn just any frog into a prince. There is only one prince.
Life is not a fairy-tale, so how do you know when you’ve found “the one” ?
In real life, it doesn’t matter how many frogs you kiss or guys you date, they are not going to suddenly transform into the prince you’ve dreamed about. If the fairy-tale were true, then it would be easy to know when you have found, “the one”.
Perhaps a better question is, “how do you know when you’ve found the “right one” or the “right kind of person” to be your prince? Some believe that God created one special person, who is destined to be their spouse and if they wait on God, He will bring the two of them together. Others feel that God does not choose our mate and that there may be many people out there who could be the “right one” for us. God may bring many people into our lives but it’s up to us to choose the right mate based on God’s standards.
Are you waiting on “the one” or choosing the “right one”?
It is possible that God creates only one person for each of us and that His plan involves bringing us together to be joined in marriage. However, what happens if that spouse dies and you choose to remarry? Does this mean that the second marriage was outside God’s will? Does it mean that this person was God’s second choice for you? There are many arguments against the belief that God created someone destined to be “the one” for us.
I don’t feel that it’s really important whether you believe in the idea of there being only “the one” created just for you, or if you believe that out of many, you are to choose, the “right one”. It doesn’t matter whether you are waiting on that one special person to come into your life or if you are just trying to make the right choice. Of course, it would be great to be able to find this prince with as little frog kissing as possible. So, how do you know when he’s “the one” or the “right kind of mate”? The answer is found where all answers are found, in God’s Word.
What does God say about choosing a mate?
Even if there is only one person in the entire world who is perfect for you, you still need to know how to recognize that person. God’s Word gives the standard for choosing our friends and our spouses. First of all, your prince will be a believer.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Cor. 6:14
A godly prince will demonstrate the fruits of the spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Your prince should be of good character. The book of Proverbs has much to say about character. Choose a mate who has these qualities listed in Proverbs.
- Honesty (29:24)
- Hard-working (14:23; 12:11)
- Self-control (16:32)
- Speaks gently (12:18; 15:1-2 & 4)
- Generosity (14:21; 28:27)
- Integrity (4:24-27; 19:1)
- Forgiving (19:11)
- Faithful/Reliable (17:17; 29:3)
- Humble (15:25 & 33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23)
- Controls their temper (14:29; 17:27; 29:11)
- Fears God and is obedient (13:13; 14:16; 14:26; 16:20)
God does allow us to choose our mate but He will bring the right one into our lives at the right time. He has provided the standard for choosing godly friends and godly mates in His Word, so if you find yourself kissing a lot of frogs and still no prince, perhaps you aren’t choosing based on God’s standards of character.