I’m a girl who has always been labeled a “natural born leader.” I credit that confidence and independence to my parents, who raised me to believe in myself, to go out on a limb every now and then and to be involved in activities that stretched and grew my leadership skills. I am a happy independent woman. However, being labeled “leader” or “independent” has also haunted me in the dating realm, having been told on multiple occasions that I “will never need anybody.” This happens to be one of the greatest reveals of a guy’s character and one of the most hurtful labels given to me.
However, I feel that I do NEED men. Women NEED men. We need them to be a leader, a provider, a cheerleader, a rock, our best friend and to be the person God made them to be. So many singles have their “list” of the perfect qualities of their future mate and size everyone up accordingly. I tossed out any semblance of a list a long time ago and replaced it with the above listed qualities of a Godly man.
While I am capable of navigating this life without a husband, If I do get married some day, I want and need him to be the spiritual leader of our home, to be the decision maker, to be my greatest advocate and to be a present father to our children if we are so blessed. So, I guess I, like any daughter of God, I am quite needy, only perhaps not in the worldly sense.
1 Peter 3:1-7 (below is a part of this passage) has become my favorite passage on marriage and the role of husbands and wives:
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives…Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3: 1-2, 7)
The husband is designed by God to be a leader and the woman designed to be a helpmate. While this mindset seems counter-cultural in today’s society, I believe if we were to return to the roles of husbands and wives as described in Scripture, society would begin to find great freedom in marriage. Understanding each other’s role and purpose, as well as treating each other with respect will result in a successful team as a married couple.