Never, for any reason, complain about your sex life to your wife. If you must complain, do it to God, a trusted (married) friend, or a good counselor. But never tell your wife that your sex life is in some way lacking or disappointing. If you think you aren’t having sex often enough now, try sharing your disappointment—that ought to just about kill off what little there is. And if excitement is lacking, try boosting that with a little complaining.
Don’t act hurt, annoyed, irritated, or dissatisfied in any way in the bedroom. You will only drive a wedge between you and the only legitimate source for sex you have in the universe. Your wife is God’s only possible answer to your prayers for a great sex life, so start treating her as the sacred provider she is. Get off your selfish, probably over stimulated, soapbox and try wooing her.
Maybe it’s time we men turn our energy from complaining and being angry about what we are not getting from our wives sexually, and, instead, turn it toward making them feel as delighted as possible that they married us in the first place. That might mean: romance, listening, tenderness, and help around the house or with the kids, as well as protection or affection without strings attached. That could also mean just showing her appreciation for what she does in your life—appreciation is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Oh, and for heaven’s sake, don’t treat her like she owes you sex just because you need it. 1 Cor. 7:3-5 wasn’t written to give you the upper hand. So don’t use it to guilt-trip your wife. Trust me, just don’t, you’ll only hurt yourself.
Maybe a better approach would be to try to understand what sex means to a woman and approach it that way. Even if it doesn’t increase the frequency, most certainly the quality will improve for both of you.
