Hysterical Longevity

Why did you marry your spouse?

Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv says,

it’s probably not because you found them boring, too busy for you, critical or self-absorbed. You probably chose your companion because you enjoy being with them, because you find them fun!

Why then, do we expect our marriages to survive when we become too busy for each other? How do we expect our marriages to thrive when we quit exploiting the things we have in common; when we stop doing the things that made us a team in the first place?

In his series, From This Day Forward, Craig Groeschel suggests five commitments that will make your marriage vows unshakable. One of those commitments is to “have fun.” He lists three, non-negotiable elements to having good marital fun.

Any couple who attended marital counseling heard that communication, quality time and sexual intimacy are important. But explained in more colorful language, a couple can make the implementation of these seemingly rote principles, fun.

First, Groeschel says, commit to face-to-face fun. When couples are dating, they talk about everything. They talk until there’s nothing left to talk about and then they listen to each other breathe. They carry on digital conversations to the exclusion of everything else. Neglecting conversation in a marriage relationship is as dangerous to the union as texting while driving is to a love-drunk teenager.

Biblically, Solomon and the Shulammite woman constantly spoke their love. God even consummated His love for us by sending His son, the incarnate Word, to explain the Father. John 1:18

Next, is side-to-side fun. This is where you head back to the very basics. Remember when he spent hours planning the most unique date night ever? Remember when you knew she loved you because she laughed at your antics? Remember when you watched, Miss Congeniality, just to make her happy?

After the conquest of marriage, it is easy slip into mundane routine and decide you no longer have time to play together. If it worked the first time, maybe it can help you fall in love all over again.

The last component of fun, according to Groeschel, is the kind of fun you’ve waited your whole life for. Bellybutton-to-bellybutton fun is one of the most important elements to a lasting, happy marriage.

Proverbs 5:18 says,

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

There is no other way to know a person as intimately, to consummate the most cherished friendship, than God’s provision for sex between a man and wife.

You said, “Forever.” You said, “Until death do us part.” When a marriage becomes dull and lifeless, it is easy prey for the Enemy. So, if you’re not married, commit now to infusing your relationship with fun. If your marriage has become lifeless and dull, from this day forward, do the things you did at first.

Start now, and promise with your spouse,

This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).


Abby Kelly is a blogger, personal trainer, partner in Moms Who TRI, a journaler and a dog owner. She currently lives in Northern Virginia with her military officer husband. She writes on cultural, personal and relational lies that destroy women's lives and seeks to share the truth, hope and love of Jesus Christ.

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