The Real Happily Ever After

When I was growing up I adored watching romantic comedies. You’ve Got Mail, Return To Me, Sleepless in Seattle, The Little Mermaid, these were my bread and butter. Movies like this made love look so fun, sexy, and easy. While they would depict love as “hard to come by” they made it seem perfect from that moment on. Just as Disney movies never showed what exactly “happily ever after” looked like.

I did not date in high school and  I married my first boyfriend. Needless to say, I had a few ideas of grander when it came to relationships. I’ve decided to blame it on Hollywood.

Here’s why:

Every kiss is an open mouth kiss.
This is a fallacy. Especially the first kiss. I don’t know about you, but if my husband’s first kiss would have been a tongue in my mouth I can’t see a second kiss happening. Now that we have been married 7 years I can promise you this: when James walks into the door after work I’m still in my pajamas and the kids are running around, we don’t greet with a giant make out session. Just saying.

When a couple wakes up in the morning, they are in full makeup.
I will confess that I am actually terrible about taking off my makeup before I go to bed. That means in the morning I have mascara smears and bags under my eyes. James has morning breath and bed head. So unless you have tattooed makeup onto your face, you will not be looking that fresh when you wake up.

Life with the in-laws is always a hoot.
In the movies they show the quirky aunt, the protective father-in-law, and the controlling mother. Yet, they fail to show the real tensions that can come from joining two families together. There may be metal illness, addiction, cancer, or anger issues. They may be uninterested in your children, and they may neglect you. It’s not always coming up roses with the in-laws. But if you can try to have a sense of humor about it, that might just help ease the tension.

Even the most intense arguments end within thirty minutes.
According to the Hollywood even if your spouse lies to you about a secret past or an affair, you will work it out within about 30 minutes. I can tell you this much, that’s not always the case. Even if we work hard to maintain open lines of communication sometimes a real issue surfaces that takes substantially longer to work through.

Every princess has a pet, and it never causes conflict.
I have know a few couples who have married into pet ownership. It can cause some real conflict. I think it may have something to do with the fact that the animals do not talk in real life. That pet would never be argued about.

You will wake up from every coma.
All it takes is true love and a kiss right? The harsh truth is that illness, injury, and health problems will occur. They will be truly challenging. This is why they are mentioned at the alter, in sickness and in health. What matters is how you can respond to those hard times. One of the most challenging times in our young marriage was when my husband was hospitalized and needed heart surgery. It was this moment that defined who we were and bonded us together. For better or worse; till death do we part. Let it solidify your marriage, not trample it. We chose a life verse and have since then clung to it in hard times;

Isaiah 41:10.So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

One of my favorite quotes is: “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”That is what marriage is truly about. It’s not about the glitz and glamor. It is ultimately about the fight to keep it going. Who knows, you might even find out that love in real life is better than in the movies.


Bethany Brittenham is a graduate of The University of Northern Colorado with a major in Communication. She is a stay at home mom and lives in beautiful Colorado with her husband of 6 years. They were unexpectedly blessed with three children within 4 years, which has kept them on their toes. Bethany has a deep desire to have a strong marriage. She believes a good marriage is a reflection of Christ's love for his believers.

Copyright © 2014 Start Marriage Right. Disclaimer