Sometimes You Just Need Someone To Listen

I was having a tough day.

It was just a day where my emotions were feeling raw. I was frustrated and discouraged over some thing and the tears came quickly to my eyes all day. And I mean alllll day!

I tried to put on a brave face and not act wimpy. I didn’t want to have a pity party and I didn’t want my kiddos to look at me in “that way.” But still, I was struggling.

And my husband could see it.

So what did he do?

He took me out to dinner.

He took me out to dinner so we could talk. So he could get a feel for my heart. And in the process, I got a feel for his. And the communication was needed.

I felt better after our dinner even though I teared up and cried several times during it. But I felt better for unleashing some of the things I was locking away inside of my heart.

It takes an intuitive spouse to see that sometimes you just need to be scooped up and removed from your day for a little while. Sometimes you just need someone to listen. Sometimes sharing is what matters most…not the laundry, the housework, or the dishes.

We didn’t solve anything that night. But I felt loved. And that was exactly what I needed to feel. I needed to know someone cared.

I heard some things I needed to hear from my husband, as well. Perspective can be everything sometimes! But in a moment where there was an awkward wedge between us due to emotions; in the end, there was more closeness and love. All because of a dinner. All because my husband saw me hurting and chose not to ignore it.

Those are the moments in our life where we have a choice. We can do something to grow closer in that moment, or we can allow distance to grow and spread between us. Which one will you choose when your spouse is struggling? For struggle, they will. On some day, at some hour.

Can I recommend something? Try dinner. Try a table for two where you have to look at each other. Try listening.

It does wonders.



Dionna Sanchez is a freelance writer/blogger who is passionate about faith, family, and living a life of character. Dionna strives to be authentic yet gentle, joyful but intentional, and humble yet wise. She continues to learn each year how to be a better wife. Visit her blog at or connect on Facebook at


Here you will find guest contributors . . . or those who once contributed regularly, but no longer contribute to the website in an on-going manner.

  • Alexis Alwood

    I love this.. it made me tear up reading it because this very thing has recently happened to me. I found out some terrible information in regards to my childhood and all I could do was cry.. sobbing cry.. the kind that shakes your soul. I didn’t want the children to see me cry and I didn’t want to tell them what I had found out so instead it was one little thing they said that made me burst into tears. That night my husband came to me and asked if I was ok. What had me so upset? Did I want to talk, and if so, did I want to talk alone or there in the house where the kids might be snooping to hear? At the end.. I realized that after all the years we have been together, he truly cared about my heart.

    • Alexis – I am so glad that your husband was there for you when you needed it!

  • Carla

    Thank you for sharing! It is very true! I do not have a spouse does this. Instead I am forced to deal with the harsh reality of losing multiple pregnancies with no spousal support….the one person I believed should be there no matter what. Recently he got a wake up call, He found out the 1 person he thought he could rely on…his best friend of almost 40 years…devastated everyone he knew. The information we received shook us to the core and it was hard for us to comprehend and all I could do was be there…to listen, cry, and to reassure him that there was nothing he could have done. He now realizes what myself and others have been trying to tell him about supporting me. Sometimes words don’t matter….it is the little things that make a difference!

    • Carla – I am so sorry for your heartache and loss. Continue to pray for your husband and let him know that you need that support and communication.

  • Tina

    I so wish my husband was that concerned about my feelings. After 1 1/2 years separation (after he abandoned myself and our son), he has come home (after much prayer on my end), but I feel like I am still rowing the canoe by myself. There is no consideration of me as a stay-at-home wife and mother (economy shut my business down). I go out of my way to make sure he is ok, that his world is functioning above and beyond, however, there’s no reciprocal treatment for me. I wish, that we could get to the point that there was no individual thoughts, but just knowing that we are a team, a functioning team that has been married for a little over 23 years.

  • I am so sorry, Tina. I know your heart’s longing for something different. Don’t give up. Keep praying and getting Godly counsel. I hope that you will see something shift soon and be encouraged as God works on your marriage and home.

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