12 Things I Didn’t Expect From Marriage

1. I miss my family, but not how I expected. I love my family and how they provided such a loving home. However, now that I’ve left to “cleave” —I see how important it is to leave them behind and become one with my husband.

2. My in-laws and I don’t talk much. Not every family needs or wants to be all up in each others business. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Because I came from a very small family I assumed everyone would be calling, hanging out, etc. Nope! Thanks for lying to me—My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

3. Internal Pressure sucks. For some reason, I feel the need to continue to fill my life with the next big thing like: owning a dog, padding the savings account, or having a kid. Society needs to shut up and let me enjoy being a newlywed.

4. Movies, shumovies! I don’t watch as many movies like I did when I was single. I don’t feel the need to waste precious time with bad movies. We’ve turned off, walked out of, and returned so many movies I can’t even tell you. Life is too short not to enjoy quality time with your spouse!

5. Mo money, mo problems! You can spend all kinds of money setting up a home. Seriously. It never ends.

6. Dreams Never Die. I spent my whole life waiting and wanting to get married. Thankfully God knew this desire and yet challenged me to dream outside of having a spouse. As much as marriage rocks (and it does)—I see how important it is not to let my own personal dreams die.

7. Whaa? Depression: I never expected marriage to be so lonely. Since I’m a full time writer and spend my days at home, I didn’t expect to miss parents, animals, or roommates so much. As much as I expected marriage to be the cure-all, end-all, be-all…it’s not and never will be. God is!

8. My friendships have changed. I was that saangle (really single) chick who assumed I’d never leave my single friends in the dumpsville. Now that I’m married, so much time goes into building a life together. It’s not necessarily bad or good—it is what it is.

9. God really does answer prayer. God brought me such a patient, sweet and godly man. Seriously! I didn’t believe he existed, and now that we’re married—I am amazed how he continually treats me with such kindness, gentleness, love, etc. It’s surreal and makes me want to be a better wife.

10. Jesus, take the wheel. I never expected how easy it would be for me to want to take over and lead the relationship—and yet how beautiful and rewarding it is to submit to my husband. I’m sure I’ll be learning this one for a long long time.

11. Christians still seem afraid to talk about sex. Now that I’m married, I didn’t expect to feel so much shame about my sex life—now that it’s supposedly “okay” and “right.” Sadly, my husband and I joke: “Christians don’t have sex or talk about.” I think this is a tragedy of our times and a tell sign of why most young adults are hurting from fear of judgment or feeling condemned.

12. Sex takes practice. Everything I built up in my 29 years about being single [and a VIRGIN] told me to expect sex to be amazing and wonderful. It is but it takes practice!


Renee Fisher is an author of 10 books, coach and consultant who recently created a full-service creative agency for all things self-publishing. She is passionate about defending dreams and spurring others forward to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). #DreamDefender Renee is a graduate of Biola University and lives in Austin, Texas with her handsome husband and their fur child named “Star.”

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