Before I got married I didn’t date a lot but I flirted like it was going out of style.
When you’re single, a little flirting here and there probably isn’t that big a deal but I was a major flirt and I majorly led guys on.
I called it “flirt without follow through.”
From my teens into my very early 20s I loved getting a guy’s attention by using all the right lines, looks and gestures.
Then when he asked for my number I would give it to him, only to wake up the next morning to think, Ugh, I don’t want that guy to call me. So, if he called I would often be stand-offish or rude and he would take the hint and not call back.
Like I said, I liked the attention from flirting but not following through with any kind of commitment.
But it was really because of low self-esteem that I flirted so much in the first place. I also had a real bawdy sense of humor and way of talking.
As a joke, several of my male friends called me “Debauchery Queen.” Mind you, I wasn’t living out acts of debauchery, but the words that came out of my mouth and my intense flirting may have led you to think otherwise.
All this time I was going to church and God was growing me up in maturity and character. I had a friend at church who told me, “You shouldn’t let those guys call you ‘Debauchery Queen’ because Jesus has cleansed you and you’re better than that.”
Those words resonated.
I also felt convicted that my flirtatiousness was a major character flaw born out of a wounded place inside that needed to be healed by God, not filled by my own striving for attention.
I resolved that I was going to make a change in how I spoke and acted and that I was going to cut out the flirting so I could honor God, myself and the guys I came in contact with.
The next time my friends called me “Debauchery Queen” I told them to never call me that again.
I said, “Don’t call unclean what God has made clean.” (See Acts 10:15)
From that point on there were so many times that I wanted to flirt, or say something inappropriate but I made a decision to hold back.
It was difficult at first but I was intentional about doing the things I needed to do in order to become more like Jesus and more the woman God created me to be.
Proverbs 11:22 says,
A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” (NLT)
Having character while dating not only gives you dignity, it honors God. And the quality of person you are attracts a similar quality of person who wants to date you.
These days I only flirt with my husband.
And let me tell you–it was definitely worth the wait!
*This article originally appeared on www.DevotionalDiva.com
