Don’t you just love coming across an engagement announcement and seeing the image of two people deeply in love and ready to spend the rest of their lives together? For you married ones out there, doesn’t that take you back to the same moment? The moment when you thought you were ready to take on the responsibility of someone other than yourself. Or do you just think, “Man, I wish someone would have told me the truth about marriage or at least helped me prepare better.” The most preparation couples get these days comes in the form of simpler words or phrases. “Congratulations.” “How exciting.” “You two are perfect for each other.” “Marriage can be tough, but you’ll get through it.” I don’t like to be the bearer of bad news or real life, but when a man comes up to me these days and says he’s about to get married or just got married, those are not the phrases I choose to use. Alright, I’ll most likely congratulate him, but then I like to follow with some serious questions. These questions may not hit him at the moment, but eventually he’ll remember them and either ask you about them again or sit down and really think about his marriage.
Here are 5 Questions Every Man Should Ask Himself before Marriage. (includes challenges)
1) Am I a Man of my Word?
Have you ever heard the phrase “A man is only as good as his word.” I mostly hear it on television shows and from the older gentlemen I encounter on occasion. I use to shrug off this phrase until I applied them to my vows. Now, as you prepare for marriage, I challenge you to consider the value of your word. Before you step up to the plate of marriage, seriously consider what your vows are and find out if you’re ready to be a man of your word.
2) Am I prepared to Love?
Gentlemen, love is a language that your wife speaks and understands much better than you, and it’s an area you need to improve in quickly. Yes, you need to be respected in the marriage, but your wife is all about love. Do you know or have you considered what love looks like or means to her? If not, I challenge you to ask her what love means to her. How can you better show it in your conversations, your actions and in your emotions? Start doing this today.
3) Am I ready to be selfless?
In early marriage, I thought selfless meant doing something for my wife so that I could get something out of her in return. Now, much more seasoned and mature, I understand that the real approach to selflessness is doing whatever it takes to please and love your wife and not expecting anything in return. I challenge you to consider this mindset the next time you do household chores, work those extra hours at the office and even when being intimate. Learn to be selfless in your marriage and the rewards might just surprise you.
4) Am I prepared to Lead?
No longer are the days of being led by school teachers, professors or your parents. As the husband, you are now called to the leadership role in your marriage. Leadership not only requires the steps mentioned above, but it also requires things such as sacrifice, willingness, humility and gentleness. I challenge you to consider what it really means to be a leader in your marriage. Ask some of the men at your Church what it means to them, consider what your father or mentor taught you over the years and pray daily that God would make you a wise and mature leader.
5) What do I want my marriage to look like in 5 years?
Remember all of those exciting comments you received when you were first married or engaged? Now imagine those same comments being said 5 years into your marriage. Looking and planning ahead in my marriage was not something I thought about at first. If you’re in love, you’ll be perfect and in love forever, right? Wrong. Your marriage will always take work to make it great and make it last. I encourage and challenge you to sit down with your wife (or soon to be wife) and talk about what you want your marriage to look like in 5 years? If you can’t come up with any ideas, seek some counsel from an older married couple and find out what they think makes for a great and long-lasting marriage.
What questions would you challenge newlyweds with and why?
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