Different Than My Husband

The past few weeks, God will not leave me alone. He keeps asking me to serve my husband by letting go of some major items we disagree on. Why did He keep putting this on my heart? I felt as though I was right and Caleb was wrong. Wouldn’t yielding my opinion be seen as “giving in?”—but that was exactly what God was asking me to do. Surprisingly, it took a trip to McDonald’s to figure it out.

This week I was sitting at McDonald’s typing away on my laptop. Their free Wi-Fi and constant stream of Diet Coke make for an appealing place to get some emailing done (don’t judge me). As I was sitting in my cushion-backed booth, I watched two men sit down at a table right next to me. These two 30-something guys were obviously on a lunch break and ready to chow down on a burger. For the next 20 minutes, I watched in disbelief as they ate their lunch in complete silence. One was staring off at a corner TV, while the other seemed to be so into his french fries that he couldn’t look up. As they threw away their trash and walked out the door, I was struck with a thought: men and women are so different. Could you imagine two women on their lunch break sitting in complete silence? Me neither.

In that moment, it made sense. I am created entirely different from my husband so differences in opinions and ideas should be expected, not viewed as a bad thing. But what do I do with those differences? I still think I’m right and he’s wrong!

Everywhere I read in the Bible, God describes love with some pretty radical ideas: the one who desires to be first must become a servant, love is not self-seeking, the son of man came to serve, no one should seek their own good but the good of others. God continually is showing me how others come way before myself. As I meditate on this concept, I realize I’m pretty good at doing this with friends. I recently spent a weekend with my best friend Megan and was happy to eat where she wanted or watch her favorite movie because I love serving my friends. But when it comes to my spouse, differing opinions make me dig my heels into the ground and buckle up for a fight.

God made us different on purpose. He could have made the two sexes exactly the same, but He chose to demonstrate different sides of Himself through men and women. This week, God is asking me to let go of the death grip I have wrapped around my opinion and serve my husband by following his. Will I choose to fight those differences or serve my husband through them?

Photo Copyright: prometeus / 123RF Stock Photo


Hannah Nitz is the Communications Coordinator with Authentic Intimacy, a women’s media ministry focused on intimacy in marriage and intimacy with Christ. Hannah and her husband Caleb have been married 3 years and love working with other young couples to celebrate the challenges and joys that marriage brings. Hannah loves cooking big meals from scratch, watching football, and challenging other women to grow in Christ. Follow her work on Authentic Intimacy’s Twitter and Facebook.

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