How to Bring Your Relationship to Life

“You reap what you sow.” I’m sure we’ve all heard that phrase before. When you read it, which emotions does it stir up inside of you?

This may sound odd but until recently I have always mainly thought of that phrase in a negative sense. As in, if you sow something bad you will reap the negative consequences… but it obviously works the other way around, too. If you sow something good you will reap something good!

The phrase comes from Galatians 6:7 and I like the way the New Living Translation puts it,

Don’t be misled–you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”

The next verse goes on to explain,

Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.”

I want to sow good things into my relationships so what I harvest is life, not decay or death. I’m sure you do, too.

This makes me ask myself the question: what seeds am I sowing into the soil of my marriage each day?

Am I sowing seeds of discord, disunity, lies, fear, doubt, anger, name-calling, abuse, or selfishness?

Or am I planting seeds of love, grace, kindness, trust, faith, peace and servant hood?

Whatever we are planting on a regular basis will eventually begin to sprout and grow, filling the field of our relationship. When its harvest time, do we want to gather bitterness or joy?

Seeds are small. It may not seem like a big deal to drop one here or there. But over time they accumulate, take root and begin to bear fruit. That fruit will either nourish our relationship or it will be rotten.

Lately I’ve been a bit lazy in cultivating my spiritual life. I haven’t been spending as much time being intentional about connecting with God through worship, Bible study, and listening for His voice. I’ve let myself become more focused on my own problems; getting stuck in a cycle of self-pity.

The problem with that is that not only are my actions negatively affecting myself and my outlook, I’ve noticed that negativity eventually begin to seep into my interactions with my husband.

When I’m not taking the time to have my mind renewed daily with God’s word; when I’m not being intentional about living in a vibrant connection with Him, I can see how it affects every part of my life. This isn’t about legalism; it’s about the truth that being closely connected with God brings life to our lives.

That’s just one example of reaping and sowing that I’ve noticed in my own life. When I’m sowing those seeds of connecting with Christ, I harvest joy, peace and patience. When I’m sowing seeds of laziness and self-pity, what sprouts is a bitter weed.

So, what do you want to sow into your marriage? What do you want to sow into each of your relationships?

There are so many ways that we sow seeds in every day interaction. I encourage you to take a little time this week to think about what kinds of seeds you’re sowing, and what the outcome of that harvest has been.

If you need to, take the opportunity to start fresh and begin to sow seeds that will lead to a joyful harvest.

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Rayni Peavy is a writer and speaker who brings a message of hope, freedom and fullness of life. With a passion for healthy relationships, she encourages others to live out the abundant life Jesus offers. Rayni is author of the new book Ten Marriage Lessons From a Semi-Newlywed: Make Your Relationship Come Alive! In her free time Rayni enjoys learning to speak French and exploring new cuisine with her super cute foodie husband. You can find more articles and podcasts at and connect on Twitter and Facebook.

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