My Greatest Enemy Isn’t My Spouse

There are ordinary moments in life when it is easy to see our spouse as the enemy. There are moments when I’m caught in the mundane of life, picking up those pair of shorts off the floor for the thousandth time, or reaching for the Oreos I had been craving all day, only to find out they had been already been eaten. It’s easy to think, in these ordinary moments, that our spouse is trying to make things harder on us, or trying to annoy us, but those are lies from Satan.

“You have an enemy and it’s not your spouse.”

These are just a few of the wise words my father shared with my brother and sister-in-law during their wedding ceremony, and I have been reminding myself of them ever since.

My spouse is not out to destroy me, but Satan is out to destroy my marriage. He can use those little quirks or habits of my spouse to bring out the worst in me. Marriage is not just about you and your spouse; marriage is about something much greater. It’s a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church, and Satan will try everything in His power to skew that picture.

He often uses the littlest things to cause anger and strife between us and our spouse. If we allow ourselves to become susceptible to his lies, we can begin to see our spouse as an enemy instead of our partner and friend.

I’ve recently been studying the book of Ephesians and this verse caught my attention.

“Give no opportunity to the devil.” -Ephesians 4:27

You see, every day we come across opportunities to allow Satan to hinder our marriage, but it’s up to us on what we do with that opportunity. We can either use them as opportunities to become angry and cause conflict, or we can use them as opportunities to run from Satan’s lies and strengthen our marriage by being Christ-like towards our spouse.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” – Ephesians 5:1-2

So the next time you get annoyed with the toilet paper roll hanging the wrong way, or the socks that never seem to make it to the hamper, don’t give Satan an opportunity to cause dissent. Instead, remember that just as Christ loved us, we are called to love our spouse. Instead of allowing frustration and anger to build up, take joy in having the opportunity to love by serving your spouse.


Amber Spallino is the wife of a church planter, mom, photographer, blogger, and most importantly a person transformed by the love and grace of God. She has her M.A. in Women's Studies and calls D.C. home. She loves good coffee, her crock pot, and the fact that she can iron just about anything in the dryer. She is passionate about learning from God's Word and applying it to everyday life. To read more from Amber, check out her blog or Twitter.

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