Comparing Eyes vs Grateful Hearts

It’s easy to have the mindset of comparison when it comes to our relationships. We look at others and wonder why our relationship looks different. It’s the classic grass-is-always-greener mentality.

My husband and I recently spent the weekend staying with a couple we are friends with. It is always nice to be around other couples, but when you are staying in someone’s house for a few days, you get to see deeper into who they really are. And I found out that they were really… normal. Just like us, actually. They have the same conversations we do about the same kinds of things. They have their own frustrations and appreciations about one another.

You see, the problem is when we look at everyone else with eyes of comparison instead of appreciating what we have right in front of us. The only solution to this is having a heart that goes from envious—to grateful. If we sat down and listed all the things we loved about our significant other, the list would probably go on for miles. You may see things you like in other relationships, but I assure you they are looking back at you thinking the same thing. We can all improve, become more considerate and grow to be better to one another. We should strive for this. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t do us any good sitting around thinking about other people without knowing the full story. We cannot base our low moments on another couple’s highlights reel. And we tend to see ONLY the highlights reel of others.

The grass is green where you are if you will open your eyes to see it instead of wasting your time looking at everyone else’s grass.
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I know my husband is not perfect, but he is mine and he loves me well. He is the best at caring for me and has a million and one characteristics that make him the best for me. God knew what he was doing. When you are facing moments of frustration and disappointment, stay away from the comparison trap. It is an illusion and it will get you nowhere good. Instead, start listing to yourself all the things you adore about YOUR relationship. The way he cooks for you when you’ve had a long day or the way she picks up your favorite candy when she’s at the store. The way he champion’s your dreams or the way she supports your passions. If we really examine our relationships, we will find so much beauty within them. The grass is green where you are if you will open your eyes to see it instead of wasting your time looking at everyone else’s grass.


Ana is currently an English major, recently married to her wonderful husband, Malik! She is passionate about woman's ministry and hopes to inspire and encourage women to grow in the Lord and become all He desires for them to be. She feels called to writing and sharing her experiences on her journey with the Lord.

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