Don’t Separate What God Puts Together

In today’s society where ‘freedom of expression’, ‘being your own person’, being ‘independent’ is strongly advocated, marriage is often seen as a loss of freedom, a loss of one’s individualism and too many people enter into a marriage with the thought that nothing will change and that if the marriage does not work out there is always divorce.

This is not what marriage is about. Marriage is a partnership. A commitment. Two people entering together into the same activity – marriage. Forever and ever and ever…till death you do part.

Marriage for Christian believers is also totally different compared to marriage for non-believers. As Christian believers, your marriage is based on the Word of God. Every instruction and guidance needed to create a happy marriage, an everlasting marriage, is in the Bible.

Divorce is not an option because God has given us the Holy Spirit.

When you have an argument with your spouse:

Acts 2:38 declares, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” With the help of the Holy Spirit, you will be able to find a solution to the argument.

When you feel discouraged and lose hope in your marriage:

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” With the help of the Holy Spirit, you will find new hope for your marriage.

When you are not sure what to say or do or how to behave in your marriage:

John 14:26 says, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” The Holy Spirit will be your advocate and guide you on how to behave.

When you fall out of love with your spouse:

Romans 5:5 reminds us, “…God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” The Holy Spirit will show you how to love again.

“The institution of marriage works better when there’s a spiritual connection. If you’re marrying just for the sake of the woman (or the man), then you may lose interest in each other very soon. When we marry in the interest of the Holy Spirit with the intention of serving God and humanity, then it gives a much larger perspective.” ~A.R. Rahman

The Irish have a beautiful Gaelic phrase Mo Anam Cara’my soul friend. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and cara is Gaelic for a friend.

A soul friend is someone you don’t have to pretend with. The friendship is deep and abiding and it cannot be wounded or broken by distance or words.

The Irish author and poet John O’Donahue puts it so succinctly:

“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.  The one you love, your anam cara, your soul friend, is the truest mirror to reflect your soul.  The honesty and clarity of true friendship also brings out the real contour of your spirit.”

Your anam cara can be a friend, a companion, or a spiritual guide.

Your spouse needs to be your anam cara.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” ~Mark 10:7-9

Just as your bodies are joined together as one flesh in marriage, your soul is joined together as well.  God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are what completes and binds a marriage between Christian believers.


Noelene Curry lives in Cape Town, South Africa with her Irish husband, three daughters, one dog and two rabbits. Noelene is a public speaker and author of God’s Promise for Families and All God's Stones. Her passion in life is for couples, not just to stay married, but to be happily married. She loves reading, walking, traveling and bush camping. You'll find Noelene writing about God’s redeeming love and His ability to restore people and relationships at

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