“Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.”
A few weeks ago our entire family tested positive for the Covid-19 virus. We went into quarantine immediately. For 14 days my spouse, myself, and our three daughters along with the dog were not allowed to set a foot outside our garden. It was quite an experience.
As one daughter commented, “It’s a good thing we all like each other!”
The first week was tough as we all felt quite ill but by the second week we were starting to recover and it was actually a good time. My husband and I listened to sermons online, spent more time in prayer and reading of the Bible, and talked about life.
In the weeks since we have recovered, I have been reflecting on this time, on the concept of marriage and doing life together.
My husband and I have been married for 28 years and he truly is my best friend. He says I am his best friend as well! We love spending time together. We also value the fact that we read God’s Word together and pray together on a daily basis at a set time but we also continue to pray throughout the day. It is a habit we have formed over the years. A beautiful habit.
In having said the above, I have a confession to make. At the beginning of lockdown and during our time of quarantine, I found myself getting really upset and irritated. Because I work part-time I am at home far more than my husband so the house and cooking are basically my responsibility. We were, however, both staying at home now, and yet he was not helping me around the house. I started to feel a huge resentment. These feelings festered, as they tend to do, and I eventually exploded. The poor man’s response was “But why didn’t you just say something earlier, of course, I will help. Tell me what you need to be done?”
Because it wasn’t his norm he hadn’t thought about what I was doing.
Ironic really—that after 28 years of writing and speaking about how vital communication in marriage is, I still fail hopelessly at times in communicating my feelings to my husband!
Our relationship now is a result of a stormy beginning, discussions of divorce in the earlier years, a huge amount of compromise and forgiveness, and the immense blessing of both of us having a good sense of humor. I am so thankful that we never threw in the towel but persevered with the marriage.
So many Believers lose hope in their marriages, in God’s power to restore lives . . . we did. It was only after seeking outside counsel and prayer that we could start seeing a glimmer of hope in the beginning years.
I read the Scripture below and thought how amazing it would be if we could learn to pray this scripture for our marriages during the challenging times. God’s word never returns to Him void (“…so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” —Isaiah 55:11) so we have the absolute assurance that when we prayerfully quote Scriptures God listens and works on our behalf.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.”
(Lord, I thank you for my marriage, I thank you that you will fill my heart with a love that will endure forever towards my spouse.)
“…Cry out, “Save us, God our Saviour;”
(God, I cry out to you now, save my marriage.)
“…Gather us and deliver us from the nations”
(Gather my husband and I together Lord and deliver us from our hurt and un-forgiveness)
“…that we may give thanks to your holy name, and glory in your praise.”
(We praise you Lord for restoring our marriage.)
—1 Chronicles 16:34-35
Pray for your marriage, pray for your spouse, pray for yourself.
“True intercession involves bringing the person, or the circumstance that seems to be crashing in on you, before God, until you are changed by His attitude toward that person or circumstance.”