How to Find a Godly Spouse

When I look at my husband, I see kindness, humility and love. If I had to narrow down the interminable amount of words that would so adeptly describe the man I love with all my heart, these are the three I would pick.

He is kindness. I see it in the way he looks at me, touches me and the way he reacts to and interacts with me. I also have the privilege of seeing it in the way he interacts with other people. With few words, he can reach deep inside someone and pull out a smile and a little bit of joy. With just the tone of his voice, he can lift someone’s dreary heart and make them feel lighter. In the way he addresses people is an unspoken respect for who they are and where they are in life.

He is humility. I see it in the way he is slow to speak and slow to anger. One of his golden rules is to generally assume there are facts he may not know about any given situation. He believes it is better to listen and gather all the facts before speaking or forming an opinion. He also has this incredible knack for seeing straight through to someone’s heart—and the unspoken message there. His love and respect for people allows him the ability to address the real issue of a matter in an encouraging and uplifting way.

He loves. All of the other attributes are summed up in this one. Love. He chooses to love others and it emanates from him in everything he does and says. This foundation allows him to be who he is and to treat people as brothers and sisters. Ideal? Unrealistic? Let me just tell you, I have been on the other side. I did not believe this sort of godly man existed and if someone told me he did I’d say, “you just got lucky and it will eventually come to an end.” No one is perfect. But when a man or woman has a relationship with God the Father, all of His perfect attributes are reflected in that person’s life.

So how do you know when you’ve found a godly spouse who will love and cherish you “until death do you part”?

How to Find A Godly Spouse
If you want to find a godly spouse, you have to first know what a godly spouse looks like. And how would you do that? By understanding where godliness comes from. Everything a godly man or woman does is a reflection of God himself. If you know the Father then you will know godliness when you see it. Take time to get to know Him.

My second most important advice is to be in the center of God’s will. If you are unsure whether you are in the center of His will, ask Him and listen to what He has to say. But be prepared because if you are not in his will, He will tell you to give up whatever it is that is keeping you from it. I could write a whole sermon series on this one but, believe me, I’m speaking from experience when I say, “you are so much better off giving up a little to gain a whole lot.” If you are looking for a godly spouse, align yourself with the Lord’s will by fully submitting to Him.

There are different beliefs on whether or not there is one right person for everyone. I don’t know what I personally believe on this account because I understand both arguments. I had a dear friend recently say to me, “I don’t know whether there is a right person for everyone or not, but for me, I know that there couldn’t be anyone else in the world for me than my husband. I believe that with God there are no errors. When you are in the center of God’s will he will show you the good and perfect plans he has for you.” These are “plans to prosper you and not to harm you” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Last but not least, trust the Holy Spirit. If there is something “just not quite right,” the best thing you can do is let it go until you know more clearly from the Lord. He is so faithful. So much more faithful than us flawed humans give him credit for. All He’s asking is that we stand at his door and knock. And keep knocking, keep asking (Matthew 6:33). If you are trusting the Holy Spirit, you will find contentment with where you are and where you future spouse is as you wait. There is a good and perfect timing for everything. God’s timing. Listen to the Holy Spirit.

Having a husband who reflects the character, acceptance and love of the Father blesses me beyond anything I could ever imagine. He encourages me and fosters a desire in me to be a better, godlier wife every day. He establishes a firm foundation for our marriage by first being in a wonderful relationship with his Maker. Out of that flows everything we need to build a strong, godly marriage. If you align yourself with these guidelines you too will be in the right track to finding a godly spouse who will love you in the best way possible—with a pure and perfect love, just like the Father.


Bethany Stutzman is a registered nurse who grew up on the mission field in Colombia, South America. Her exposure to the third world has fostered a love in her to serve people in underdeveloped nations and she has been blessed with many opportunities to do so. She recently left her job working for a nonprofit organization whose goal is to provide free healthcare in developing countries to get married, follow her husband to Ireland and pursue an advanced degree in her career. While she is in Ireland, she hopes to continue with her hearts desire of serving people through writing and blogging.

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