It’s irritating. He can’t keep his eyes off of her. Little Ms. Captivating Siri with games, news, entertainment, GPS and social media, all wrapped up in one smart silicon package. She also has the nerve to compete with me for my boyfriend’s attention. The little twerp.
Honestly, I never thought I could be jealous of Siri. I mean, she isn’t even a person! But I now must admit I am J-E-A-L-O-U-S of a smart phone. Siri’s the epitome of perfection. She doesn’t have opinions. She simply obeys and, at best, offers expressions of comedic relief. She doesn’t suffer from PMS or emotional meltdowns. She’s never critical or needy—just sweet and funny, even-tempered and always there to serve. Annoying—especially when your boyfriend would rather ask her random questions, just to hear her response, than have a conversation with you. I might have to take drastic measures. The trash can is looking like a pretty good option.
Perhaps you feel compelled to whip out your cell phone and stare at the screen every few minutes instead of focusing on your boyfriend. Or perhaps you’ve noticed that your girlfriend would rather hold her Smartphone than your hand. Or you’re scared to answer the question: If you and the iPhone fell at the same time, would your boyfriend catch you or Siri?
Now, the real question is: How are you going to let technology impact your relationship? Well, here are a few easy steps to keep your tech habits in harmony with your relationships:
1. Be Personal.
Proverbs 15:23 says,
It is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!”
I would like to add “and in-person” to that verse. Couples in Bible times didn’t have the option of Skype-ing or texting their partner. Nowadays, it’s becoming more and more common to say “I love you” for the first time via texting. But is that really sweet? Or is it actually cheating your partner out of a memorable experience? Don’t let technology steal special moments. Reserve those words and conversations for when you are face to face. It’s easy to slide into texting instead of picking up the phone and talking (or driving over). But text messages should be the seasoning to your relationship, not the main course.
2. Keep It Clean.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:3-4, NIV).
Today, our fingers are an extension of our mouths. We need to be careful what we are sending to our boyfriend/girlfriend. We need to stay away from vulgar language, sexual jokes and inappropriate/immodest pictures that will cause our partner to stumble. Protect the integrity of your relationship by keeping your messages pure and without the slightest hint of sexual immorality.
3. Talk about things that bug you.
Don’t let irritating or hurtful things simmer. If it saddens/annoys you that he’s on his smartphone when you’re on a date, tell him. Keeping it bottled up inside will only make things worse. Your frustration will grow until you explode. When something bothers you, talk about it honestly—and calmly—and try to reach a compromise.
For example, you can say: “When you text your friends while we’re eating dinner with my family, it makes me feel like your friends are more important to you than developing a relationship with my family.”
You might have a moment of awkwardness when you share something that’s been bugging you. At times, it may seem like a silly point to bring up, but it’s totally worth discussing it. It will save you from many unnecessary frustrations down the road.
Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth” (Proverbs 15:4).
4. Avoid emotional promiscuity.
According to Juju Chang’s article, “Facebook Infidelity,” Twenty percent of divorces involve Facebook. We may not be married yet, but we need to be aware of the social media and texting habits we’re creating. Are we communicating with the opposite sex with pure intentions? Or are we being a wee bit flirtatious? Is that wise when we’re in a committed relationship? Or is that sitting at the portal to future infidelity?
Respect your boyfriend/girlfriend; Don’t be emotionally loose in cyberspace or with your messaging. Instead, communicate with the opposite sex “with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:2). Take steps to guard your emotional purity. Before you click send, check yourself by asking: Why am I trying to “keep in touch” with my ex-boyfriend? Are my motivations pure or selfish? Would I want my girlfriend/wife to read what I just messaged my female friend on FB? Would I want my boyfriend/husband to know that I am texting my male coworker several times a day—on subjects unrelated to work?
5. Make peace with Siri.
Yes, Siri and I made a truce. Well, to be specific, my boyfriend and I made a truce. We discovered that we’re both, to a certain degree, obsessed with technology. He’s guilty of playing with Siri and I’m guilty of spending hours with my eyes glued to my laptop when he’s present. And our obsession was creating a slight divide in our relationship.
At the same time, though, we realize that our devices could be quite helpful—googling answers, using the GPS for directions, and texting each other encouraging messages (and smiley faces). So rather than destroying our expensive gadgets to maintain the quality of our relationship, we decided to create electronic boundaries to protect it.
We committed to making each other a priority. If we’re together, we’re together and not playing on our cell phones. If we do happen to pay close attention to our phones, there’s a reason. For example, he might be expecting a critical e-mail from the office or I might be waiting for an important call from my friend. However, we are sure to let each other know why we are constantly checking our phones and are careful not to falsely designate non-urgent things as urgent.
Our boundaries help us carve out distraction-free time where we can focus on learning about each other and not our high score on Angry Birds. It’s truly been a blessing and helped us grow deeper in our relationship. Siri may not be too happy about our new boundaries, but I sure am.
How about you? Are you jealous–or annoyed—by your partner’s gadgets? Are they starting to create problems in your relationship?
