I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest when, at my engagement party, I overheard my soon to be mother-in-law giving my uncle/wedding officiant/pre-marital counselor the third degree. How I managed to calmly articulate our confidence in my uncle’s ability to counsel and marry us is beyond me.
The next morning, during my quiet time, this verse came up in my devotions:
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
How in the world was I going to forgive her offense? It’s hard to know what to do when forgiveness doesn’t come quick or easy. Over the rocky course of the following days, I must admit calling the whole thing off was quite appealing.
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).
The bitter seed had been planted and was taking root. I felt betrayed by my fiancé when he recanted his decision to use my uncle, in favor of his mother’s choice of their family pastor. With the wedding date soon approaching, I began pressing even more into the Lord, begging Him to “renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).
During this trying time, I learned something new. Go figure, right? Isn’t that just like God to use something difficult for good (Romans 8:28)? What I have learned most is that the enemy could care less if our relationships are right with people or not. What he is most concerned with is hindering our prayers. When we have an unforgiving attitude, our connection with God is threatened.
Over the past few days, while I have been stewing in my anger and bitterness, He has seemed far away and distant. My normal ongoing conversation with Him was stagnant and forced. When I have begged that He would “restore to me the joy of [His] salvation,” He has (Psalm 51:12). When I have drawn near to Him, He has drawn near to me (James 4:8). I absolutely had to rely on His faithfulness in the past to push me through this valley.
While I don’t confess to have all of the answers for how to work out the proverbial “monster-in-law” conundrum, I do know that God honors a submissive heart sensitive to His Spirit. My desire has always been to be a respectful, submissive wife who does everything as unto the Lord. My fiancé and I are not married yet, but we are quickly heading in that direction. By honoring and lovingly being respectful to my soon-to-be husband, I am, in turn, honoring God. And when I forgive quickly and freely, my prayers will not be hindered! The way I see it, I can choose one of two paths: An affront and fight for my rights as the bride, and so hinder my relationship with God, or I can let go, trust that God knows the desires of my heart, and be the woman He is calling me to be.
FEATURED GUEST — Kristen Lindquist: Nomadic by nature and circumstance, Kristen has grown up along the east coast, moved more times than she can count, and attended more schools than she can remember. Most recently, she did a lot of spiritual growing on the “third coast” where she attended Moody Theological Seminary and (mostly) embraced city living. To her joy and amazement, and as a testimony to God’s redemptive grace, Kristen and her husband, Aaron, live in Virginia Beach where she teaches 5th grade and is learning how to apply Ephesians 5:21.
