Should I break up the relationship if he is checking out other girls?

Q: My fiancé always checks out girls while I am with him. Not every girl but when it happens, I feel like I am disappearing and very insulted. Should I break up the relationship?

A: The choice to break up the relationship depends on how he responds when you talk to him about this issue. He may not be aware of how deeply this is hurting you or how this could be detrimental to the marriage later on. It needs to be processed between the two of you in conversation. If he responds positively to your concerns and changes his behavior, then he’s learning and there’s no reason to break of the relationship over this issue. If, however, he tells you that you should not be insulted and that every man does that, then it could be grounds for breaking up the relationship.

Before you get married, I think you want to make sure that you look at as many issues as you can and find agreement on them. Here’s one you haven’t yet found agreement on, so discuss it with each other. If the two of you can’t solve it, and you really value the relationship, then sit down with a counselor and let a person who has been trained to deal with these types of things help you work through this conflict.

So reach out for help, seek a solution and find a resolution before you move on toward marriage.


Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 8 million worldwide and has been translated into over 40 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information visit

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