Q: You talk about “in love euphoria.” What about relationships that start without this “feeling” and are more “intellectually based” Is this healthy?
A (Gary Chapman): I think that’s perfectly fine. I do think, however, that the in-love experience is an important part of the relationship. I find that couples who never have that—they simply have a common interest, build a friendship and later get married—often they are tempted outside the marriage when they do have an in-love experience with somebody else. And because they didn’t have it in the original relationship they are more likely to bail out of that relationship. It’s important but it doesn’t have to be the first thing on the agenda. It may come after they developed a friendship.