What do I do if he doesn’t want kids?

Q: The man of my dreams—the man I’m marrying—just told me he doesn’t want to have kids. I’m devastated. What does one do?

A (Gary Chapman): I would say you need to slow down the process. If you want to have children and he is determined not to have children, to me that could be a deal breaker. I know that’s hard but to go into marriage with a strong difference on this topic sets yourself up for failure. I would say slow down the process; you need to have more time together to explore life with each other in a deeper way. You may find that there are other things on which you disagree. If you haven’t worked through my book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, I’d suggest that would be a good place to start.


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Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 8 million worldwide and has been translated into over 40 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information visit 5lovelanguages.com.

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