6 Things I’m Learning During Engagement

Have you ever felt like the hours are going by so quickly that you just can’t seem to keep up no matter how fast you run after them? I’ve felt like that lately. Life is filled with noise and God seems “strangely silent,” as Beth Moore puts it in her study on the book of Esther.

I recall the lyrics often to a song called “You Know Me” by Bethel Live (see video embedded below), “You know every detail of my life and you are God and you don’t miss a thing, and nothing is hidden from your sight and wherever I go, you find me.”

During one of the most joyful and exciting seasons of my life to date—engagement, wedding planning, moving into a new neighborhood, getting to know my new family members, and growing closer to my family of origin—it is difficult for me to hear God. “You Know Me” is a reminder that even when we feel disconnected from Him, He is always the same, His love is always the same, and He is ever-present and providential.

Looking ahead to our wedding and marriage, I’m realizing that life will probably only become filled with more in the future. There will be times when it seems that God is distant when I feel like I need him the most. And yet, I’ll need to remain steadfast and to love despite my feelings. I believe that He is using this season to make me stronger and to equip me for times to come … I’ll be a stronger woman and a stronger wife in the future if I learn now.

With the hope that you might be able to take something helpful away from the lessons I’m learning, whatever stage of life you are in, I came up with six of them to share with you:

  1. Reevaluate priorities consistently. For me, if God and spiritual disciplines take first priority in my life, then everything else flows from there. I’m able to love my soon-to-be husband better, to love my family better, and to work harder because I’m finding my security only in the Lord. It is easy for priorities to get all mixed up, so make it a habit to reflect on where you are spending your time and energy.
  2. Work toward keeping life uncluttered. Being too busy is a choice. So we can choose not to.
  3. Keep the peace. One of the most important pieces of advice I’ve received is from my mother-in-law. She told me that as a wife, it is important to be a peacemaker with your husband and in your house. We can be peacemakers in all areas of life. (Try not to confuse peacemaking with passivity. They are very different.)
  4. Confess often. Tell God the areas of your life where you feel you are weak. Ask Him to help you to turn away from behaviors or choices that you feel convicted about. There is great freedom in pursuing holiness through repentance.
  5. Spend time with the people you love. One of the best ways to show love is through giving others your complete, undivided attention. My wise  professor put it this way: You will never regret spending more time with your family and friends. 
  6. Heed the wise advice of others, in your life who you trust and respect. My fiancé, Joe, reminds me often that loving God and loving others is more important than what we accomplish day-to-day.

James 4:14 says, “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes (ESV).”

It’s difficult to be loving and joyful when our priorities are out of order, life is busy, and it seems impossible to get some quiet time alone with God. However, we aren’t here for too long … how can we leave this chaotic world having loved the best we could while we are here?


With a BA in Public Communication and certificate from the Denver Publishing Institute, Shannon has worked in book publishing and ministry. She currently stays home with her son and writes when she has the time. She is grateful for her small group, coffee, the Bible and living by the lake, and she enjoys laughing with her husband and son, finding good taquerias (and then eating there), reading historical fiction, and being outside. An amusing marriage tidbit: while she and her husband enjoy doing many of the same things, like watching 24, they walk at very different paces, which they find both funny and annoying. She lives on Chicago's north side.

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