My Marriage Will Not Last into Heaven

My husband Isaac is a realist, and I am more of the romantic, dreamer type. I watch all the “happily ever afters” in movies and believe that could be real life. Which is why it should not surprise you that I truly believed Isaac and I would be married in heaven after death, and Isaac did not.

This conversation came up playfully one Saturday afternoon within our first year of marriage. I was dreaming about our marriage forever into eternity.

Isaac chimed in, “The bible does not say we will be married in heaven, Rachel.”

“I don’t care,” I said. “That sounds so unromantic. We will be together forever.”

I just accepted the fact that he believed differently and I frankly, didn’t care one bit. I wanted to believe what sounded nice to me.

We both knew Jesus told the religious leaders in Matthew 22 that in the resurrection, we neither marry nor are we given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. (Matthew 22:30)

I’ve never liked this verse, because I love marriage. Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of being a bride and a wife. I dreamed of a life in love with a man. So, I chose to imagine life in heaven as something different – how I wanted heaven to be.

Recently, Jesus revealed some comforting truths to me about this verse through a book I’m reading by Francis and Lisa Chan called You and Me Forever.

He does say that there will be no marriage in heaven, but He does not say that Isaac and I will not be deeply in love with each other in heaven. We might even be closer to each other in heaven, because there will be no more sin. We can perfectly love each other better in heaven than on earth.

Francis writes, “Things must be different in order to be better.”

Second, I must trust that the God who created marriage promises a better future.

My choice to ignore the truth in the bible proved my lack of trust in my Jesus. He promises a wonderful and perfect place for his people – a place where there is “no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” (Revelation 21: 4)

He knows what he is doing. His plans for my life are far better than my romantic plans for our marriage.

I have been placing my husband, my marriage and dreams of earthly romance as priority in my life. Marriage has become more important to me than God’s plans and dreams for both Isaac and I.

Through this revelation, I have realized how much time I spend on my marriage and myself than with the Lord. It is so easy to get caught up in the business of life on earth rather than spending time in the presence of Jesus nurturing my relationship with Him and hearing the truths He desires to reveal to me about eternity.

Jesus is clear that He wants to be number one priority in our lives – even above our families.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38)

He also shockingly says in Matthew 10:37, “Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

A marriage without God as priority is a selfish marriage destined to eventually fail. We cannot truly love each other and treat each other right without the daily guidance from Jesus. He is perfect love. We learn to be more like Him within marriage by following Him whole-heartedly and without abandon.

Maybe there are no marriage vows in heaven, because they are not necessary. There is no sin in eternity with Jesus, so that means there will be no breaking of vows. Only perfect love will exist with God our Father and with each other.

The most important union we will have will be with Jesus praising, worshipping and loving Him forever. I really don’t think anything else will matter.

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Rachel Bohanan is a newlywed living in Oklahoma City with her husband and six-pound morkie dog. Rachel is passionate about marriage and desires to help others have a great marriage with her. She loves putting words together to share her heart in a way that inspires others to be more like Jesus. While writing is her first love, Rachel works in communications for an oil and gas company and also just started an at-home invitation design business, Rachel Kathryn Designs.


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