What is spoken over us is who we will become.
As humans, we are impressionable and we tend to conform to whatever we hear about ourselves the most. When it comes to marriage and relationships with significant others, this is no less true in the least. God knows this about us and that’s why he tells us as believers to encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thess. 5:11), let no corrupt talk come out of our mouths (Eph. 4:29), teach and admonish each other in all wisdom (Col. 3:16), and exhort each other every day (Hebrews 3:13). The words that come from our mouths have more power than we know.
The trouble comes when we aren’t aware of the power of our tongue.
So… how are you wielding your words?
I’ve heard it said that we should speak over our spouse who we believe they can become. What if we really did this? Instead of tearing down by calling out all their shortcoming, we built them up and called out their good qualities, encouraging them to come out even more? Instead of giving them a laundry list of everything they are doing wrong, we praised them for what they are doing right?
I know that I tend to fall into the categories that the people I trust place me in more times than not. Thankfully, I have chosen to place myself around those who build me up instead of tearing me down, who speak the truth I need to hear in love, and who tell me I am who God says I am.
When it comes to marriage… we certainly need to be that encouragement for our spouse. However, sometimes this can be a challenging goal. When you meet with a friend and choose the length of time you will spend together, you can wear the best face possible because you can take it off after a few hours. With your spouse, since you are living in the same space together, you don’t have that same luxury. The worst of you comes out because you are most comfortable with them and have the expectation that they will accept you for who you are no matter what you say or do. For these reasons, it can be hard to be loving, kind, and gracious with our words.
The unfortunate truth is, we can easily hurt and tear down those closest to us. And what we say over them is who they’ll begin to believe they are. This can be a vicious cycle, but there is hope for it to be broken if we practice reigning over our tongues and wield the power of our words as a force for good instead of a weapon.