Q: I have been in a dating relationship for 2 yrs and I am now at a point of questioning full compatibility before engagement. We both are Christians but to different extremes. I have a need for God in my everyday life and struggle that as a couple we will not grow spiritually since he does not share the same need. Is there a way for both of us to seek our God in different ways and support each other in the others spiritual needs and be fulfilled to have the relationship grow in Christ?
A: This is a very insightful question. It’s a question that I think a lot of couples face because it’s highly possible to be in love with each other, spend a lot of time with each other and not be on the same page spiritually. You may both be Christians but there’s a big difference between Christians. There are Sunday morning Christians, Easter and Christmas Christians and daily devotional Christians. What I’m hearing is that this woman is committed to Christ and spends daily time in the Scriptures but she doesn’t see the man she is dating doing these things.
I would say, there needs to be movement while you are dating. Don’t assume that when you get married he’s going to suddenly become a spiritual leader in the home. Share your concern with him, encourage him to get involved in a Bible stud and have a daily devotional time with God, as well as give him books that might help him do that. However, if he doesn’t respond or have movement, then you should seriously questions weather you should get married because spiritual unity is a huge issue in marriage and certainly should not be overlooked.
