Barhopping for Love

Have you ever seen the Queen of England or the President of the United States digging through the trash for food to eat? Obviously, your answer is no. You probably never will. What about the children of royalty? Must they go prowling through alley ways in a desperate search for items to meet their needs? Again, the answer is no! Now if those seated in high places truly desired to go dumpster diving then certainly nothing could stop them, but to choose leftover scraps instead of a gourmet dinner at The White House would be ludicrous. Because the children of royalty know who they are and what they have access to, they refrain from settling for less than the very best!

Now if we are (His) children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ …sharers together in the promise of Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:17, Ephesians 3:6).

Sisters and brothers in Christ, many of you are settling for less than God’s best when it comes to dating relationships. Oh, many of you think the idea that God has an amazing match out there He created specifically for you sounds nice, but you don’t whole-heartedly believe He does. As a result, you’ve taken matters into your own hands. Rather than live as a child of The Most High King walking in paths of righteousness, you choose to scavenge through bar after bar, night after night as a desperate beggar in search for love and affection. Like the Prodicle Son, you’ve turned your head from The Loving Master and are walking in the opposite direction of every good thing He desires to give you, including a mate! You think you know what is best and have chosen barhopping as a major strategy to find it!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Your quest for companionship reminds me of a vision I had recently when praying for a single friend who’d approached me with the question, “Is going to bars okay?” In the vision I saw what looked like a stray dog prowling through the alley ways in search for scraps to eat. In the distance, the dog’s new mansion sat upon a hill. He’d been adopted, given a new name, and would be trained for an awesome purpose. His new master stood next to the mansion door beckoning him to enter and eat the finest of foods that had been prepared especially for him. Yes, scraps could suffice, but a better way of living was available to the canine. The dog had a choice. He could turn his feet and walk toward the very best or ignore the call of his master.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him” (Psalm 34:8).

It’s not my intent today to try to convince you that all in all going to bars is wrong. However, I simply hope the vivid imagery I created for you will encourage you to seek God’s advice on the issue. He alone knows your true motivation and the very best path for your feet! In James 1:5, He promises to give wisdom to all who ask. I hope you’ll ask Him if your lifestyle mirrors that of the dog nosing his way through the dump, chewing on scraps. I pray your spiritual eyes will be opened to know the truth. You are a child of the King, set apart for a satisfying, grand purpose. God yearns for you to walk in His ways, to believe that along His path is the man or woman He has for you to marry. Won’t you choose this day to step out of the nightlife. “For what fellowship does light have with darkness” anyway? If you walk by faith in the light, you can know God will reward you with a companion in His perfect timing (Hebrews 11:6)!

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a list of some advertised bar names I’ve seen. As you ponder how the enemy might consider such names a slap in the face of The One True God, ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind scriptures you can relate to each one:

  • The Blind Pig Saloon
  • The Lazy Dog Saloon
  • The It’ll Do Bar (We could just as well call this place the I’ll Settle Saloon!)
  • The Watering Hole (as opposed to The Living Water whose name is Jesus!)
  • The Promise Land

Oh! There are several treasures of truth that come to my mind as I read that list, but more than anything I can almost hear the still, small voice in my spirit singing, “be careful little feet where you go. Be careful little feet where you go. For The Father up above is looking down with love; be careful little feet where you go.” Why would a loving father care where your feet go? Because He knows that some places lure you away from His very best!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

© 2011 Dani Miser, Author of “Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man” (Deep River Books, 2010)



Dani Miser is an author and speaker. She is passionate about encouraging others to honor God in their relationships! She truly believes God’s plans for our lives, especially in regards to marriage, are better than the plans we have for ourselves! In chapter one of her book, Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man: Facing the Consequences of Unhealthy Relationships, her testimony displays living proof that God longs to be invited as matchmaker into the lives of His children! Dani has written for publications such as CBN,, Youth Worker Journal, and the Healing Hope Herald. Her book has also been featured on a variety of television and radio broadcasts such as Canada’s Most Listened to Spiritual Talk Show ( and WATC-TV Atlanta, Georgia. Dani and her husband, Cody, reside in in Wichita Falls, Texas, and have three boys ages 5, 7, and 9. Recently, they’ve been blessed with an opportunity to pursue adopting a fourth child! For more information about Dani or her book, visit her blog.


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