The Little Things Do Matter in Your Marriage

My marriage has grown stronger recently…all thanks to a pot of soup.

Let me explain.

I had dinner simmering on the stove one evening when my husband came home from a long day at work. The aroma of spiced chicken combined with sweet carrots and corn drew him into the kitchen where his eyes happened upon a large stainless steel pot. He glanced inside the clear cover and his whole face lit up when he saw the contents.

“We’re having soup for dinner?” he exclaimed. “Great!”

In that instant I realized two things: one, my husband loves soup, and two, I had managed to forget that fact. Because, truth be told, I hadn’t made soup for him in a long, long time.

Somehow in the busyness of life, I had let the little things slip by in my marriage and I hadn’t even realized it. I had decided to cook up a “one pot wonder” that night, not because I wanted to do something special for my husband, but because it was convenient for me. But seeing the wide grin on his face and the delight in his eyes stirred up something in my heart. His reaction reminded me of a time when I would have made the effort to go out of my way to remember his likes and dislikes. When I had eagerly searched for recipes online, bought all the right ingredients, and spent time chopping them up so I could surprise him with a pot of soup for dinner. There had been a time in our marriage when I knew the little things do matter.

Simply put, it’s the little things that show your spouse:

  • You are thinking of him.
  • How much you care about her.
  • That he or she is important to you.

Like the individual bricks of a house, it’s the small things that strengthen a marriage. Your commitment to one another initially laid the foundation for your relationship, but it’s the day-to-day actions which help to build up the walls, brick by brick. And when both the foundation and the walls are strong, your marriage is fortified to withstand the storms that may come your way, as well as provide a place of warmth and comfort.

The little things do matter in a marriage. I have experienced this truth firsthand in mine. So I encourage you to make a big deal out of the small things. Remember the things you used to do for and with your spouse when you were dating or newly married…and do them again.

For example:

  • Cook his favorite dish.
  • Compliment her new outfit.
  • Watch the TV show he likes.
  • Put the phone down when she is talking to you.
  • Greet one another with a smile in the morning and at the end of each day.

Because when all is said and done, it’s through those little things that the big things—such as kindness, compassion, generosity, and love—have a chance to shine in your marriage.

Photo Copyright: martinan / 123RF Stock Photo


Liwen Y. Ho resides in California with her techie husband of more than a dozen years and their inquisitive son and fun-loving daughter. She has a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Western Seminary and loves makeovers of all kinds, especially those of the heart and mind. She enjoys family beach days, white chocolate macadamia nut ice cream and the beauty of the written word. Learn about her life as a recovering perfectionist at her website or connect on Facebook.

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