Wait on the Lord, or get out while I can?

Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and half now, but the majority of our relationship has been difficult. She told me that God told her I was her husband and she had a vision that confirmed it for her. However, I have not been told that she is the woman for me. Lately we have been having issues, and I don’t believe we are truly compatible. Should I wait on the Lord, or “guard my heart with all diligence,” and remove myself from a relationship that I don’t believe to be healthy at all.

A: Well, I think if you have been dating for a year and a half you’ve certainly had time to evaluate the relationship. If you sense after that long of a time period that it’s not a healthy relationship, and you don’t sense it moving toward marriage, then there is certainly nothing wrong with saying to her, “This is where I am and I feel like we need to give each other some space.”

To continue in a relationship that you feel is unhealthy, in spite if she’s had this dream or vision that you’re her husband, it has to be mutual. There are many times when one person feels like you’re the person but the feeling is not mutual. I’ve been in that relationship when I was single and I think many people have. So, I think you have to do what you believe is right as you pray about this relationship before God. If that’s breaking it off, then I think you have to have the courage to do that.


Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the bestselling 5 Love Languages® series, which has sold more than 8 million worldwide and has been translated into over 40 languages. Dr. Chapman travels the world presenting seminars on marriage, family, and relationships, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. He lives in North Carolina with his wife, Karolyn. For more information visit 5lovelanguages.com.

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