When Marriage is Messy but Beautiful

When my husband and I first met, we were both in committed relationships with other people, and neither one of us could stand each other. I thought he was a chauvinist, and he thought I was just another mouthy feminist!

Who would’ve thought, years down the road, that the Lord would bring us together?

As time passed, we realized that we each loved the Lord with all of our hearts and we desired to embody the life He had died for us to live—the abundant life. I firmly believe this common ground is the one thing that continues to bind us together.

Over the years and throughout all of our differences, God has begun revealing His will and divine plan for our lives by calling us to be leaders at our local church.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that we would be serving our local body in a leadership capacity. It took me years to understand how God could turn my mouthiness into proclaiming the Gospel of Truth. Or how He’d use my passion for women and women’s issues to start an online women’s ministry as encouragement for others just like me, to continue pursuing the call of God on our life. And how my husband, who has all the boldness in the world in a one to one conversation but is completely frozen before a microphone, would be the same person preaching and running a church.

Most importantly, I am in utter amazement how He can take two messed up broken people in a messy situation, and make something so beautiful out of it. That’s the brilliance of our God!

He took mud, the dirt on the earth, to make a man (Gen 2:7). He took a rib out of Adam and made a woman (Gen 2:21-22). He specializes in making messy things into beautiful pieces.

I love my husband and I love our marriage because I can truly say, he’s my best friend. Things don’t always look right, or they may even seem impossible, but don’t ever discount the brilliance of our Maker. He does things that are beyond our natural comprehension and sets them up in a way that we always come up on top! That’s the God that we serve!

You too can testify of how God has weaved His brilliance into your marriage. When things get tough or when you’re feeling discouraged, think on these things. Remind yourself of who you serve- He creates something out of even nothing (Heb 11:3).

Test the brilliance of God in your life and in your marriage. You’ll see, it’s masterful!


Monique is a writer and a speaker but most importantly, a lover of God’s Word. As an educator by nature, trained in the area of diversity and inclusion, Monique is often found facilitating workshops to create spaces of belonging. Her deepest desire is to lead people to Christ and to help women authentically stand in the truth of God’s Word.

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